are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my liver is dry heaving
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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