4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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