I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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