I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
