I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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