well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
