This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
