I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
