I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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