I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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