I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
