I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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