Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
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"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize