sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
