I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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