Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
