i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
