If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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