Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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