So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
