it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Your dad touched me again.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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