kristin has been a bad kristin
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
