toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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