I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
