I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
