Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
