So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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