I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
