Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
