Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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