me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I supernannyed him into submission
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
