in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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