they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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