party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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