Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
