So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
