I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
