is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
