Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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