Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
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