Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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