ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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