Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
