i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just gargled with NyQuil
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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