It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
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She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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