Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
