If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Do you remember whose house we're in?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration