just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.