I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
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I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.