He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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