Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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