TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
