So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
