there's paper in my vomit.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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