I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
