omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
