I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
