if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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