So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I will be naked everywhere
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
