Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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