And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize