Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
