I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
